Own Your Fierce

The world needs your strength!

Which of the following is an act of compassion?

• Soothing someone who has been injured
• Setting a boundary to prevent further injury
• Taking action that aligns with your values

The answer is that all three are acts of compassion. The first example is tender, and the other two involve fierce compassion.

Recently while watching political conversations, I was reminded of how much the world needs people (especially women) who can fully own fierce compassion. We need to complement our tenderness with caring force.

In my work with children, I use the character (Super) Snuggles to teach about the two sides of kindness: strong and gentle. This page from volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids shows examples of tender and fierce self-compassion phrases. Notice how some phrases can be either gentle or strong, depending on how you say them. Can you identify some phrases that you would like to hear when things go wrong?

Kids sometimes ask whether Snuggles and Super Snuggles are two different characters, or the same character. The “Kids Team” made this playful 1-minute video to help us understand that kindness is kindness, whether it is gentle or strong.

I encourage you to learn to treat yourself with both tender acceptance and strong support. Growing your own self-compassion can provide a foundation for empowering and comforting others.

If you’d like to explore this work more deeply, I offer classes and resources related to Fierce Self-Compassion, Mindful Self-Compassion, and Parent-Child Mindfulness and Self-Compassion. Taking a class on your own or with your child can do wonders for increasing both tender and strong internal support (as well as the parent-child bond!).

Remember, your own self-kindness provides a foundation for supporting youth. The world needs both your tender support and your caring strength, as do you!

With love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. For tips on parenting with Fierce Self-Compassion, check out my interview with Kristin Neff here.