When I make a mistake, oftentimes shame is in the room. If you have taken the Feelings Habit Animal Quiz and read my article about the four feelings habit animals, you might remember that the deer is the feelings habit animal that is most correlated with...
Self-Compassion
What to Do When You’re Beating Yourself Up
Personal disclosure: last week I spent a lot of time beating myself up internally. The reason was pretty innocent: I have been doing a lot of teaching lately, which has left little time for other aspects of my work (like writing this newsletter). Because investing...
Meet the Resilience Habit Animals
Kids learn best through play! That’s because it’s easier to pay attention to playful things, and also because the neurotrophic factors the brain produces during play make it easier to remember what you’ve learned. In previous articles, I have shared about the Feelings...
Three Simple Ways to Help Kids Grow Self-Compassion
This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. When I teach self-compassion to kids in schools, I do an exercise in which kids imagine that a friend of theirs has lost or broken something...
What is Your Feelings Habit Animal?
There is nothing that can get a group of kids to roll their eyes like talking to them about feelings. The topic of feelings for most kids (and many grown-ups) is boring at best and painful at worst. When I instead begin the conversation about feelings by introducing...
Self-Compassion or Self-Pity?
If I’m self-compassionate, does that mean I feel sorry for myself? It’s a common fear that self-compassion will lead to self-pity (for ourselves or our kids). What differentiates self-compassion from self-pity? And what makes one resilience boosting and the other...
Six Ways I Fall Short as a Parent (and how self-compassion helps)
Have you ever experienced "imposter syndrome"? Imposter syndrome is when you think that you are not "good enough" to share on a topic or do a particular task because you are imperfect, and your brain tells you the story that your imperfection and doubts make you...
The Power of Compassion: The Mountain that Loved a Bird
We live in a culture that encourages us to try to feel good all the time. We hear the overt and covert messages: Be happy! Overcome struggles! Look on the bright side. What is the problem with such messages? First, it’s not possible to feel...
Four Steps to Help Kids Grow Self-Compassion
How many of us know someone - an adult, teen or child - who could benefit from the resource of self-compassion? We might think, Wow! That person really needs to be kinder to themselves and stop beating themselves up! But what is the best way to help another person to...
She’s Going to be Okay
A few weeks ago, my ten year-old came home from her first field hockey practice with some news that touched my heart. She said that the first half of practice she had been practicing self-criticism and comparing herself to others, but then the second half of practice,...