How Would You Treat a Friend? Self-Compassion for Kids
There is a simple self-compassion exercise by Dr. Kristin Neff that can produce profound insights for adults and kids alike. It’s called “How Would You Treat a Friend?” Let’s try it now.
Why Mindfulness Alone Isn’t Enough for Kids
Whenever I read about a mindfulness-in-schools study that didn’t have the results researchers were hoping for, my heart sinks a little. I feel a mix of disappointment and confusion because I know mindfulness can be helpful, and we all want to support kids who are struggling.
Self-Esteem is a Fickle Friend
Many well-meaning parents try to help their kids develop self-esteem. But self-esteem can be a fickle friend. It’s there for us when we perform well, and it abandons us when we fall short or are below average.
When Kids Fall Short: How Self-Compassion Builds Resilience in Kids
Recently, my 8th grade daughter had volleyball tryouts. Although she has bumped a volleyball back and forth during PE class, she’s never actually had formal volleyball training. Nonetheless, she went to all three days of tryouts and gave it her best effort.
A Self-Compassion Break for Kids (and Us)
The other night I was driving out of town to pick up my daughter, and I was feeling upset. Events outside of my control were weighing heavily on my mind, so I turned on soothing music. But I knew I really needed to give myself compassion.
Helping Kids Navigate Fear
Sometimes fear is protecting a child. Other times, it’s a false alarm. Helping a child learn the difference can change how we respond when fear shows up.
What’s Under Resistance?
In my work with kids, I often talk about motivation. Today I’d like to explore a common saboteur of motivation—fear—and how it can show up for kids (and us) in surprising ways.
When Your Child Seems Unmotivated
The other day I heard myself telling my 13-year-old that she “lacked motivation” to do something productive over break. And actually, this conversation didn’t begin over break. Uh-oh, I thought to myself, This is not the voice I want my daughter to internalize.
Speaking with Your Heart
At first I wasn’t sure how to show up. I didn’t want to overwhelm him with compassion, but a casual response felt inappropriate. Then I remembered a children’s play I had created called Snuggles Stayed Close…
The Waiting Room
The other day my daughter and I were waiting nervously in the waiting room of the oral surgeon’s office. We were frazzled from arriving late, and Maya was fretting about the anesthesia that would be administered for her imminent wisdom tooth extraction. With nothing to do but wait, I decided to…