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The Day My Daughter’s Self-Compassion Eclipsed My Own

by | Sep 23, 2025 | Growing the Good, Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

It was such a beautiful moment…

Hello friends,

I had a beautiful and humbling moment with my older daughter, Maya. We were standing in the kitchen talking about her cross country training. Ranked #3 in the state for her division, Maya shared how her response to her running coach’s push for continual improvement has shifted.

Historically, when a coach would encourage Maya to push herself to achieve a new record, she would feel internal fear—What if I can’t level up? Why does my coach push me so hard? What if I disappoint my coach? In the past, I tried to be an external voice of reassurance, explaining to Maya that it’s her coach’s job to encourage her to challenge herself, and all she needs to do is try her best.

Maya at the cross country run.

This year, Maya had a new experience when her coach set goals for improvement. Instead of fear, she felt interest, determination, and curiosity. Her inner voice sounded like, “Maybe it’s possible. I can try to reach these goals. I just have to try my best and let go of the results.” Maya was delighted that her fear response had been replaced by a new voice. And she told me that this same self-compassion and confidence was showing up in other parts of her life, including at school.

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “You’ve really internalized the voice of self-compassion…even more than I have!” Maya laughed, and we chatted a bit more before moving on. Inside I felt humbled and awed: my daughter is internalizing self-compassion in a way that I am still learning to.

And it makes sense. I came to self-compassion with a history of trauma, addiction, and decades of perfectionistic striving. Even now, as I pour myself into creating resources like the Raising Resilient Kids Mini-Course, my perfectionism pops up. Being a “slow learner” is part of practicing self-compassion, too.

Maya, on the other hand, has been wrapped in self-compassion since she was very young. She has faced challenges, including dyslexia, Irlen’s syndrome, and some tricky wiring passed down the generations. Yet from a young age she learned to meet those challenges with tenderness and courage. Now, kindness is becoming her default. Goosebumps arise on my arms as I write this, because if this is possible for my daughter, it’s possible for your children too.

When we give kids the resource of mindful self-compassion from a very young age, their default becomes inner kindness. -Jamie Lynn

This is why I work tirelessly on this work. Can you imagine how much more beautiful our world would be if every child had a strong and tender (self-)compassionate voice built into their wiring? This is the world that I envision, and I DO believe it is possible…one child, one family, one educator, one classroom at a time.

I have a vision and playful, research-based resources (like the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbooks for Kids and the mindful self-compassion courses for all ages). We just need to work together to ensure that all kids (like my daughter Maya) learn these helpful habits from the very start.

Wishing you and your children joy and belonging,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. If you’d like playful, research-based tools to begin weaving this into your own family or classroom, you can start the Raising Resilient Kids Mini-Course anytime and get one full year of access. And if you want something tangible to keep on hand, the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids is a wonderful companion. Both are designed to support you as you nurture resilience and kindness in kids.

Helping Kids with Big Feelings: What I Wish I’d Known as a Parent

by | Sep 9, 2025 | Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Hello Friends,

When Maya was little, the hardest part of my day wasn’t mornings or bedtime…it was the walk from her classroom to the car. Almost every afternoon, she’d melt down. Sometimes over something specific, sometimes over nothing I could put my finger on. I used to pray we’d just make it to the car without a huge scene.

And then, a few years later, my younger daughter puzzled me by being the opposite. She didn’t “explode” after school…she imploded. She’d get quiet, withdrawn, and sometimes I could just feel the storm under the surface.

Two kids. Same family. Two very different ways of having big feelings.

Back then I didn’t know what I know now:

  • that my loving presence mattered more than “fixing”
  • that it wasn’t my fault (or theirs),
  • and that there were playful ways to help them feel less alone with those stormy feelings inside.
A child with caregivers.

Over the years, I’ve gathered the tools I wish I’d had back then…the ones that help me stay calm, remember it isn’t my fault, and actually give my kids skills to handle their big feelings. And because I’ve spent years as both a classroom educator and a mindful self-compassion teacher, I’ve seen these same tools help countless children and families.

Because I want you to have resources that work, I’ve put a handful of my favorite tools together in a mini-course: Raising Resilient Kids: Help Kids Manage Big Feelings. These tools aren’t just practical — they’re science-backed, with studies showing they help children develop emotional resilience and self-compassion. You can start anytime, and you’ll have access for a full year.

Get Free Access to the Mini-Course Here

Each session comes with short videos and workbook resources you can use with your child right away.

In the mini-course, you’ll learn:
✨ How to help your child feel less alone in their emotions (whether they melt down or shut down)
✨ A playful way to help your child get “unstuck” from overwhelming feelings — while noticing the good, too
✨ Simple self-compassion tools that help your child (and you!) respond to big feelings with kindness and learn how to take helpful action

These tools aren’t a quick fix (because parenting never is)…but they can bring more calm, connection, and confidence into your days. And your kids will begin to know that their big feelings are human and manageable, not shameful — a gift they’ll carry for life!

Thank you for caring so much about kids and for being on this journey with me. If you know another parent, teacher, or caregiver who could use these tools, feel free to share this mini-course with them…it’s always more transformative when we learn and grow together.

With warmth,
Jamie Lynn

P.S. If you’re a parent, teacher, or other caregiver, this mini-course also includes downloadable lessons and resources that can be used in classrooms or group settings — perfect for helping many children grow emotional resilience and self-compassion. You can join the course here: [Get access to mini-course].

How to Help Kids with Big Emotions: Playful Self-Compassion Tools

by | Sep 2, 2025 | Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Hi friends,

I first learned about self-compassion while helping my daughter, Maya, navigate her big emotions. Initially, I was frantically trying to put an end to her meltdowns—because honestly, kids’ feelings can be exhausting, for them and for us as parents!

Mother talking to a child.

But I discovered that the pressure to “stop” Maya’s big feelings was only making things worse. Practicing self-compassion helped me hold the struggle—and ultimately helped her embrace her big feelings. When we make feelings into a “problem to solve,” it often backfires. Teaching kids playful skills to work with their feelings without judgment lightens the load for everyone. Years later, Maya—and a team of kids—helped me bring the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbooks for Kids to life, and seeing kids light up while using these tools reminds me why this work matters so much.

I recently got a message from a parent that really brought this full circle:

“My son is 7, almost 8, and about 2 months ago he started crying at the drop of a hat, often saying he didn’t know why. When he did know, it was something ‘small’ that normally wouldn’t set him off.”

She realized he might be entering the adrenarche phase, a developmental stage (ages 6–8) where hormone changes can make kids more sensitive and reactive. Honestly, this was new to me too!

She shared what happened when they started using my workbook together:

“We are halfway through Volume 1, and he is already so much better at managing his feelings, and he is so proud when he uses one of the tools we learned in the workbook. I sent the link to one of my mom friends—and her son is obsessed too. I want to shout about your workbook from the rooftops—every single person (not just children!) needs these skills!” ❤️

What I love most about the workbook is that it doesn’t make big feelings seem like a problem. Kids learn their emotions are natural, and they gain playful tools to work with them, without the extra “second dart” of shame or self-criticism.

Playful tools kids use when big feelings show up

Here are a few ways kids explore and work with their feelings in the workbook:

  • Feelings Habit Animals: Kids learn to notice patterns in how emotions show up, like big feelings, sticky thoughts, or hidden feelings, so emotions feel less confusing and overwhelming.
  • The Kids’ Team (common humanity practices): Kids remember they’re not alone and that other kids have these feelings too, which helps reduce shame.
  • Freedom to Feel: Kids practice making space for all emotions, including holding more than one feeling at once, instead of trying to push difficult feelings away (you can check out my blog on side-by-side feelings).

These are the kinds of tools families return to again and again when emotions show up at home, at school, or in everyday life.

Want to give it a try? You can take the free Feelings Habit Animal Quiz here. And if you’d like to see kids in action, check out this short video of kids sharing their Feelings Habit Animals — it’s so fun to watch them connect with the skills in their own words (kids start sharing at the 50-second mark)!

If your family is enjoying the workbook or the quiz, you might also like my Parent-Child class. We use the same playful comics and Habit Animals from the workbook to practice self-compassion together—it’s a fun, hands-on way to explore feelings and skills as a family.

Kids have fun while learning these skills, building emotional resilience and self-compassion without ever feeling like there’s something “wrong” with them.

I’d love to hear from you: can you relate to the ups and downs of big feelings—either in your children, students, or even in yourself? If you’ve tried the workbook, quiz, or exercises, how are your kids connecting with them? Are there challenges you’re noticing where I might be able to help? Please comment below and share your stories with me—hearing from you brings me so much joy and helps me know how to support you best.

With warmth and gratitude,
Jamie Lynn

P.S. If your family is enjoying the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1 or the Feelings Habit Animal Quiz, you might also enjoy my Raising Resilient Kids mini-course. It uses the same playful characters and ideas from the workbook to help families practice these skills together over three weeks.

Five Habits to Help Kids Be Resilient

by | Aug 25, 2025 | Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

The five “resilience animals” can help children and caregivers learn to be mindful and self-compassionate in moments of difficulty

 

Hello Friends!

I’m excited to share an article I recently wrote for Greater Good Magazine: Five Habits to Help Kids Be Resilient.

This piece features the updated Resilience Animal Quiz to help you discover which habit comes most naturally to you, along with a sneak peek of a new comic from Volume 2 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids.

These five habits aren’t just for kids — they’re tools we can all use in moments of difficulty, and the article shows how to strengthen them in yourself while also supporting children in growing resilience, mindfulness, and self-compassion.

Here’s the full article — may it inspire you to grow these habits in your own life and nurture them in the children around you.

Five Habits to Help Kids Be Resilient

The five “resilience animals” can help children and caregivers learn to be mindful and self-compassionate in moments of difficulty.

By Jamie Lynn Tatera | July 14, 2025

What resources do you find helpful when you’re struggling? In the wake of the pandemic, a series of federal grants brought me into Milwaukee Public Schools to support children’s well-being and resilience. In one fourth-grade bilingual classroom, students were so engaged with our playful mindful self-compassion practices that I returned the following year as a volunteer to continue our work. By 2025, we had taken things deeper—exploring five “resilience animal” habits to help students cope when things go wrong.

The resilience animals—a dolphin, a dog, a bunny, a giraffe, and a sun—come from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, which I wrote with the help of 12 children. They are also part of the research-based Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers course and related teacher training programsI have created. The workbooks and programs are designed to teach kids (and caregivers) the essential skills of mindfulness and self-compassion.

Mindfulness invites us to be present with our thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in a curious, non-judgmental way. And self-compassion means we treat ourselves like a good friend when we are struggling. When kids learn to notice their feelings and respond with care, they can more easily handle life’s challenges and bounce back when life gets hard.

It’s delightful to witness how these animals make learning mindfulness and self-compassion fun for both kids and their caregivers. (You can take the quiz yourself and discover your resilience animal!) Resilience habits take root in classrooms when teachers embrace them, and they take root in families when parents embrace them. Here are the five resilience habits and how you can work with children on them.

The Resilience Habit Animals

“Spotting” our feelings, thoughts, and sensations

“When I get stressed, I like to use mindfulness (Spots) like noticing my senses or how I feel.” —Ambika, age 12

Resilience begins with awareness, which is why the first resilience habit animal is Spots the giraffe. The giraffe’s spots can remind us to “spot” what is happening inside and around us, including our thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and five senses. We can also be mindful of our urges and actions.

One way to help children grow mindfulness is through modeling. We can mindfully name our feelings and draw attention to what we notice through our own senses. We can also scaffold children’s mindful awareness by asking them how they feel and helping them be curious about what they can see, hear, and sense.

For example, a parent waiting in a long line at a store could say to a child, “I noticed I’m feeling a little impatient and my shoulders are getting tight. How are you feeling?” The two might then decide to name things that they can see and hear, or play a mindful seeing game like Eye Spy together.

“Spotting” our thoughts, feelings, and five senses can help us stay present and balanced when difficult things happen. Research on mindfulness suggests that it can also be a catalyst for cultivating healthy habits.

Belonging to humanity

“When I’m stressed, I use Buddy. I remember that I’m not alone and most people go through the same things.” —Kamille, age 11

The second resilience habit is remembering that difficult moments are part of the human experience. In the field of self-compassion, this habit is referred to as common humanity. When we practice common humanity, we remember that it is natural to sometimes struggle and falter, and we feel connected in our shared humanity.

Common humanity contrasts with the resilience-depleting habit of telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t” be struggling. Whereas self-judgment tends to make us feel worse, remembering the universality of challenges boosts our ability to cope.

Buddy the dog is the resilience animal that reminds us it’s OK to be fully human and feel as we do. Just as a dog can be “man’s best friend,” so too can Buddy help us to remember that we are not alone. In a not-yet-published study of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers program, many children share that they use the “Buddy habit” to soothe themselves when they struggle. Parents can help kids to internalize a sense of belonging by appropriately sharing their own struggles, as well as highlighting the shared experience of challenges in daily life.

Self-kindness—gentle and strong

“I feel like I have the Snuggles habit. When something goes wrong, I start thinking ‘It’s OK; I’m going to be good.’” —Denny, age 10

Self-kindness is a superpower, and perhaps that’s why Snuggles the bunny frequently dons a cape. Kindness can be tender and comfort us when things go wrong, and kindness can also take the form of Super Snuggles, encouraging us to reach for our dreams and rise to challenges.

Self-kindness is the third component of self-compassion as defined by researcher Kristin Neff. Wrapping ourselves in a blanket of kindness as we go through challenges boosts our resilience and positive coping skills.

Happily, self-compassion is a trainable skill. A simple self-compassion practice is to ask ourselves during a moment of struggle how we would respond to a close friend with a similar challenge. We can then turn that kindness back to ourselves.

There are many strategies for helping children grow self-kindness, including speaking to them in a compassionate voice that they can internalize. There are also Mindful Self-Compassion programs for adults, teens, and children.

Taking kind actions

“I like to use the Doodles habit—I go for a run or I journal.” —Maya, age 14
Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1: 40+ Fun Activities and Comics to Learn to Self-Regulate, Find Peace, and Be Kind to Yourself (Wholly Mindful)

Self-compassion can also take the form of kind actions. When things go wrong, Doodles the Dolphin asks us what we can do to support our own well-being. This sometimes involves turning toward our problems and actively trying to resolve them. Other times, kind actions might involve shifting our attention away from our problems, and focusing on a good book, the natural world, or spending time with a friend.

Helpful actions will look different for different people. Here are some favorites from kids who helped me create my workbooks: When stressed, Khalil likes to rest or move his body. Sofia finds comfort caring for her plants. Matteo feels better when he makes art or plays games, and Anjali calms herself with music. You can invite children to make a list of activities that are kind to their mind, body, and heart, and they can look back at their lists when they are struggling.

The litmus test for determining whether or not an action is kind is to ask ourselves if it will benefit us both now and later. Often the choice is not whether or not to feel discomfort, but rather what to do while we wait for the pain to pass.

Taking in the good

“When I’m upset, I like the Sunny habit. I think about something different and just play songs that make me happy. Sunny thinks about the good things.” —Nayeliz, age 10

When things go wrong, sometimes we just need to compassionately be with the pain. But over time, we also want to notice good things.

When I work with kids in schools on cloudy days, I sometimes invite them to look out the window and ask them, “Is there sun?” I receive a chorus of mixed responses, and then I remind them that the sun is there; it’s just hidden behind the clouds. There are always good things happening, even when life gets hard, which is why our last resilience habit is called Sunny the sun.

Our brains have a natural negativity bias, so we need to be intentional about helping our minds take in goodness. We can pause when we have an enjoyable moment throughout the day and take a few deep breaths as we bring our attention to our senses. This can help good things be more salient in our mind. We can also purposefully remember a handful of good things each day.

What would be helpful?

Which of the five resilience animals is your best match? Do you like to observe the situation like Spots the giraffe, or remind yourself you’re not alone like Buddy the dog? Is kindness your superpower like Snuggles the bunny, or do you take action like Doodles the dolphin? Or maybe you look for the good like Sunny?

The five resilience animal habits create a robust toolkit for coping with difficult things, and we can be intentional about building these skills. When it comes to learning the habits, the key is to grow them when all is well so that they are accessible when things go wrong. If I were going to add a sixth habit, it would be remembering to ask ourselves what we need during our moments of struggle.

This comic from volume 2 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids highlights the power of asking ourselves what we need when things go wrong:

Comic: "What we need when things go wrong."

When I’m stressed, I’m sometimes tempted to pick up my phone and scroll. But then I remember the resilience animals and ask myself: What would actually be helpful?During moments of struggle, we can turn to the five choices from the Resilience Animal Quiz. Do we need mindful awareness like Spots? Or a Buddy-style sense of connection? Perhaps we need kindness like Snuggles, or to take helpful action like Doodles. Or maybe we need Sunny to help us remember that good things are happening, too. One, two, or a collection of all the resilience animal habits might be helpful in the moment. The key is to pause during our moments of struggle and ask ourselves what we truly need.

This article first appeared in Greater Good Magazine, but I’m happy to share it with you here.

If you’d like to go further, I’m offering a FREE live-online Intro to Mindful Self-Compassion for Children & Caregivers session this week — perfect for parents or professionals who want to help kids grow these skills. Learn more and register here.

Warmly,
Jamie Lynn

Support for You and the Kids You Care About—even While I’m Away

by | Aug 12, 2025 | Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Flexible, self-paced courses for adults, teens, caregivers, and educators—Available anytime

Hello Friends,

I’m currently chaperoning my younger daughter’s Costa Rica Spanish class field trip (joys and self-compassion takeaways to come!). While I’m away from teaching live this month, I still want to offer support.

Jamie-Lynn Tatera

It’s something I’ve thought about often: what happens when your desire to learn doesn’t fit with a class schedule? How can I continue to share the tools of mindful self-compassion, even when our calendars don’t align?

Because staying connected to what matters most—compassion, courage, and inner steadiness—shouldn’t depend on timing.

Whether you’re looking to refill your own well, support a teen, connect with your child, or guide others professionally, there’s something here for you. Below are four self-paced offerings—all grounded in the evidence-based Mindful Self-Compassion program and infused with warmth, playfulness, and real-world insight:

For your own self-compassion journey

Mindful Self-Compassion Course (Asynchronous)

Take the official 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion course at your own pace. It was recorded with real participants and designed to help you feel connected. You’ll receive one year’s access, guided practices, and the option to earn a certificate of completion (educators can use this to earn continuing education college credit through Courses4Teachers).

✅ Ideal for anyone wanting to deepen self-compassion, especially caregivers and helping professionals.

“So many discoveries and a notebook full of lessons learned. Your playful, kind, caring approach made this course a lot of fun! I was touched countless times by all the beautiful and courageous ways people in the group shared… it didn’t feel like I was doing it alone.”
— Rebecca D., asynchronous MSC student

Learn more + enroll

For parents and kids (my personal favorite!)

Parent-Child Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Course (Asynchronous or Live-Online)

This playful, heart-centered course is made for grown-ups and kids to grow self-compassion skills together. This research-based MSC adaptation can lead to decreases in anxiety and depression for kids while increasing resilience, self-compassion, and connection with your child. Includes playful exercises, kid-friendly practices, and space for meaningful conversations.

✅ Especially helpful for ages 7–11 (and their grown-ups!).

“We loved the practical exercises and dedicated time together to talk about our feelings and cultivate self-compassion. It was so healing to discuss all these things and add to our vocabulary around feelings. We will definitely use all of this! I am very grateful to have been part of this class.”
— Parent-Child Self-Compassion participant

Explore the Parent-Child MSC course

For teens needing a little extra support

Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens (Asynchronous)

Teens learn to work with their emotions, talk to themselves with kindness, and access inner resources for resilience. This MSC adaptation for teens is engaging, relatable, and empowering.

✅ Great for parents looking to support their teen’s emotional well-being.

“The self-compassion class was good because it helped me to be more kind and calm toward myself.”
— Amanda N., age 13

See what it’s all about

For educators, therapists & youth educators

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Lessons for Kids Teacher Training (Level 1 – Self-Paced with Live Q & A)

Do you want to bring mindfulness and self-compassion to children in your work? If you’re an educator, therapist, or parent looking to share mindfulness and self-compassion with kids, this affordable, flexible training is filled with bite-size lessons, practical guidance, and resources you can use right away. (Level 2 coming in 2026!).

✅ A great fit for adults who want to share playful, research-backed mindfulness and self-compassion with kids.

“It’s more than an educational curriculum—it’s a lifelong toolkit of coping strategies to self-regulate that will serve your students and children as well as your grown-up self.”
— Claudia Cavallaro, Level 1 graduate

Start your teacher training

If one of these offerings speaks to you—or someone you care about—now’s a wonderful time to begin. You can start anytime, go at your own pace, and feel supported by a kind, caring approach (even while I’m chaperoning my daughter’s trip ?).

With warmth and care,
Jamie Lynn

P.S. Mindful Self-Compassion changed my life (and honestly, I was going to say saved my life). I hope you take the next step—you’ll be so glad you did.