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Piano Key Feelings

by | Feb 3, 2025 | Mindfulness, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Activity and Workshop on Teaching Kids Self-Compassion

Hello Friends,

It was wonderful to see those of you who attended my Teaching Children Self-Compassion intro session, hosted by Kristin Neff’s Community. If you missed the intro session and would like to watch the video, you can click the “watch the free preview icon” at this link. There’s a wonderful activity for kids featured in the intro session, which I will share with you in this blog. There’s also a description of my upcoming three hour workshop!

Additionally, I am offering a workshop on Parenting with Self-Compassion for Foster Adopt Minnesota on Tuesday. I have a quiet joy and gratitude in my heart that families and professionals in the foster care system will have access to this healing resource.

Piano Key Feelings

Do you ever resist difficult emotions? Me too. And so do kids. But resisting our emotions can lead to challenges over time. Kids love the “piano key” metaphor that helps them understand the value of all of their emotions. You can scroll down to the bottom of this blog to see a short video of the practice, or you can follow along these two pages from volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids!

This exercise does several important things:

First, it normalizes that we all sometimes resist emotions (it’s human!).

Piano Key Feelings

Second, it helps us understand the cost of resistance.

Piano Key Feelings page 2

And finally, it helps us understand the beauty of our full range of feelings.

 

A Bear - feeling habit animal from the workbook for kids, volume 1

Even if the low notes sometimes feel tricky, we need the full range of our emotions to play our beautiful human music. -Jamie Lynn Tatera

The piano key activity helps kids understand that all emotions belong. It is one of many playful activities featured in volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids. You can extend this idea with the following bonus activity:

Make an art project with emotions written on piano keys and color all the keys. Then hang it somewhere to remember that all emotions belong.

Later this month, I will share more engaging exercises for kids in a 3-hour workshop hosted by Kristin Neff’s community. You, my lovely subscribers, can receive 20% off of the How Caregivers can Nurture Self-Compassion in Children workshop that I’ll be offering on February 15th. Just use the discount code Save20%fromJamieLynnwhen you register. Click here to see the details for my workshop, which is great for caregivers who would like to experience activities and tools for helping kids grow self-compassion (and is available for CE credits!).

Register for Workshop

If you are enjoying these great resources for kids and caregivers, please share this blog with a friend and/or review my workbook (reviews and referrals make a huge difference!). Thank you for being on this journey with me.

With love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. Here’s a short video of me demoing the Piano Keys Activity.

The Healing Power of Acceptance

by | Jan 28, 2025 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Comics and Activities for Your Inner Child

Hello Friends!

I’m excited to share this article that I wrote for Rick Hanson’s Wise Brain Bulletin on the Healing Power of Acceptance. So needed!

The Healing Power of Acceptance

The comics and activities in this article are excerpted from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1, by Jamie Lynn Tatera; Foreword by Kristin Neff (Wholly Mindful, October 2024). Reprinted with permission.

Imagine the following: There is a lot of traffic, and you arrive late for an appointment; Your flight has been delayed, and you miss your connecting flight; You (or your kids) get sick…again! These are all circumstances that call for moment-to-moment acceptance. And then there are more challenging conditions that call for ongoing acceptance: political unrest, chronic health problems, and financial systems beyond our control.

Acceptance can be one of the hardest things to cultivate. It can be hard for adults to face difficult situations and feelings, and it’s especially hard for kids. As a kid, there are so many things you cannot control, and adults make a lot of your decisions. And just how can we accept things that we don’t approve of?

In the context of mindfulness, acceptance does not mean that we agree with or condone what is happening. Rather, acceptance involves nonjudgmentally acknowledging that an experience is occurring. When we are able to understand and tolerate that things don’t always go as we wish, we are more able to respond adaptively moving forward.

Even though meeting reality with mindful acceptance is helpful, it is not always easy. Resistance is a natural response to encountering situations that we dislike. Even an amoeba moves away from a toxin in a petri dish! But too much resistance causes unnecessary suffering. As a mindfulness and self-compassion teacher for adults and youth, it is my job to help kids, teens, and adults learn to meet challenging circumstances with a balance of awareness, acceptance, and empowered action.

This article includes excerpts from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1. The workbook invites kids to go on a quest, and Acceptance is one of 16 lands that children travel through. Please tap into your inner child and enjoy some lessons that can help you move into the hammock of acceptance.

The Land of Acceptance

Humor is a great friend to bring along on the journey of acceptance. Life can be hard, and laughter can make difficulties easier to bear (pun intended!). In my work with kids, I juxtapose humor with life lessons.

Comic page - humor with life lessons.

Common Humanity

A tenet of many spiritual traditions is an understanding that suffering is universal, but the phrase, “suffering is a part of life” can be challenging for some adults and kids. More accessible phrases that convey a similar idea include:

Ups and downs are a part of life.
Imperfection is a part of life.

The Land of Acceptance.

Remembering that everyone has ups and downs can help us feel more connected during challenging moments. We can be mindful of our resistance to difficult feelings, and we can remind ourselves that it is human to feel as we feel. Even the struggle with acceptance itself is one that we all share. Remembering that we are not alone can give us a sense of “common humanity” when things go wrong, which is an important element of self-compassion.

Thought Distortions

The way we think about our difficult moments can make a big difference in how we feel. Cognitive distortions like black-and-white thinking and should-or-shouldn’t thinking can make a difficult situation even more challenging. In my work with kids, I refer to cognitive distortions as “mind muddles.” The below pages highlight some common mind muddles that can compound struggles and make it harder to accept the present moment.

Mind Muddles - the activity from the workbook for kids.
Mind Muddles activity for kids
Mind Muddle Messages - an activity for kids.
Resilience Habit Animals from the workbook for kids.

Resilience Habits

Sometimes our mind is so riddled with resistance and difficult thoughts that acceptance feels out of reach. Elements of self-compassion (and resilience habit animals) can help us come back to center:

Mindfulness (aka “Spots”)
Mindfulness meets us just where we are. If we are in a state of non-acceptance, we can be mindful of that, too. We can be mindful of all our thoughts and feelings as well as our five senses.

Common humanity (aka “Buddy”)
Whatever we are experiencing is human. We belong to humanity.

Self-Kindness (aka “Snuggles”)
We can soothe ourselves with words of acceptance and care, and we can motivate ourselves with supportive messages.

Kind Actions (aka “Doodles”)
Sometimes the choice is not whether or not we will hurt, but rather what we will do while we are hurting. We might call a friend, go for a walk, have a cup of tea, read a book, or attempt to solve a problem. Taking action in the presence of struggle is a powerful form of kindness.

Notice the Good (aka “Sunny”)
The sun is still present even when it’s hiding behind a cloud. When the time is right, we can help ourselves to notice and appreciate what is good. Remember that goodness and struggle can coexist side by side.

The Resilience Habit Animals and their resilience habits.

Self-compassion includes both tender acceptance of ourselves and our feelings as well as strong actions to try to alleviate suffering. The tender and strong sides of self-compassion are complementary. We can create change most effectively when we first bring mindful awareness to the moment and acknowledge that in this moment, things are exactly as they are. Mindfulness and self-compassion can help us move through resistance and struggle into the land of acceptance.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Photo of the author: Jamie-Lynn Tatera

JAMIE LYNN TATERA is a certified educator, author, and curriculum designer with a passion for helping children and their caregivers become more self-compassionate. She is the creator of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers (MSC-CC) program, a parent-child adaptation of the research-based Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) training by Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. Jamie Lynn trains educators, families and clinicians in her resiliency programs, and she has a wealth of experience teaching mindfulness and self-compassion to adults, children, teens, and families. The pages from this article are excerpted from her new book, Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1. Visit https://jamielynntatera.com to learn more.

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I hope you enjoyed our journey through the fourth adventure of volume 1 of my workbook for kids! I’ve heard from many adults that they find the workbook personally beneficial. And members of my paid community are moving through the workbook together. It’s a great resource for kids and grown-ups alike!

Buy the Workbook

Acceptance can be hard, but it’s the starting point for cultivating equanimity and taking skillful action.

Wishing you light, love, and equanimity,

Jamie Lynn

Parenting with Fierce Self-Compassion

by | Jan 21, 2025 | Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

An Interview with Dr. Kristin Neff

Hello Friends!

I’m excited to share an interview with Dr. Kristin Neff on Fierce Self-Compassion and Parenting (view our interview on Substack or your favorite podcast app). Our conversation is rich and includes both the challenges and opportunities of integrating tender and fierce self-compassion in our caregiving, and how embodying these two energies can inform our interactions with our children.

This interview with Kristin is a breath of fresh air for parents aspiring not only to nurture their children, but also empower them to be strong and agentic. And of course, growing your own fierce and tender self-compassion skills is key to helping your child do the same.

Our conversation feels very timely given the recent US presidential inauguration. It is more important than ever that we empower women, minorities, and others with diverse identities to utilize the resources of tender and fierce self-compassion. At around the 10:00 minute mark of our interview, Kristin shares about the importance of women challenging gender roles in parenting. She points out that gender roles can prevent boys from embracing tender self-compassion, and girls from owning strong self-compassion, and what we as parents can do to empower our children and ourselves.

Please be sure to listen until the end of the podcast where Kristin guides us through a tender and/or fierce self-compassion break that can be applied to many different situations in our lives.

And if you are enjoying my We Are in It Together podcast episodes, please subscribe / follow on Apple podcasts or Spotify and give it a review! Your review will help more people discover the resource of self-compassion for caregivers and youth.

Parent-Child Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Class

If you’re a parent or caregiver with a child between the ages of 7-11, there are still a couple of spots open in my upcoming Parent-Child Mindfulness and Self-Compassion class (MSC-CC), which starts this Saturday. This is my favorite class! It is beautiful watching caregivers and children grow self-compassion together. And the playful animals and comics from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids are incorporated into the class, which makes learning a lot of fun!

Learn more about the Parent-Child Class

Wishing you continued light, love, and fierce self-compassion!

Jamie Lynn

P.S. I’m sending compassion to all who are affected by California wildfires. As Kristin and I talked about in our podcast, compassion includes tender empathy as well as strong action. Here’s a link for the Red Cross, which is one of a number of organizations accepting donations for relief efforts. You can specify California wildfires if you choose to donate.

P.P.S. For my paid subscribers (thank you!), I will be sending a follow-up email later this week sharing some personal struggles, triumphs, and aspirations for my own fierce self-compassion practice. If you’d like join my inner circle and help support my work, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription (just $5 a month!)

Moon over the Lake Michigan

The Moon over Lake Michigan was breath-taking last week.

Teaching Children Self-Compassion

by | Jan 13, 2025 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Learn about teaching self-compassion to children

Hello Friends!

I’m excited to offer an Intro to Teaching Self-Compassion session on Wednesday, May 14! You are all invited to join my intro session for no cost. If you register for the session, you can join live or watch the replay recording for 30 days. This session is great for parents, educators, clinicians, and other caregivers of children who would like to nurture self-compassion in youth (and themselves!).

Join Intro Session

Learn about the issues that caregivers face when trying to teach self-compassion to children and why it’s important to help children (and you!) grow self-compassion. Experience a playful activity from my self-compassion workbook that helps kids embrace all their feelings. I’ll highlight aspects of my upcoming 3-hour workshop, which teaches caregivers how to foster self-compassion in children using engaging activities, fun metaphors, and playful exercises.

My newsletter subscribers can receive 20% off of the 3-hour workshop that I’ll be offering. Just use the discount code Save20%fromJamieLynn when you register. Click here to see the details for my three-hour workshop, entitled How Caregivers can Nurture Self-Compassion in Children, which is great for caregivers who would like to experience activities and tools for helping kids grow self-compassion.

Register for 3-hour Workshop

Why Self-Compassion?

As many of you know, I’ve spent the past decade of my life focused on helping kids and their caregivers grow self-compassion. Are you curious why? Self-compassion is linked with all kinds of good outcomes!

Self-compassionate people are more likely to….*

  • Feel happy, optimistic and satisfied with their lives
  • Have a stable and unconditional sense of self-worth
  • Be appreciative of and satisfied with their bodies
  • Demonstrate higher levels of emotional intelligence
  • Be forgiving and compassionate toward others
  • Be strong and resilient when faced with hardship
  • Be conscientious and take personal responsibility
  • Show grit, motivation and determination to meet important goals
  • Focus on learning and personal growth
  • Cope with work challenges and feel more competent and effective at their jobs
  • Maintain healthy work-life balance
  • Draw healthy boundaries and say no
  • Feel authentic and connected and experience intimacy in relationships with others
  • Make compromise solutions in conflict situations
  • Eat nutritious food, exercise, and get medical checkups
  • Sleep well and have a strong immune system

*The above list was compiled by Kristin Neff (see here).

This is why I’m so passionate about helping caregivers and youth grow self-compassion—there are so many benefits! The first research study on my parent-child class showed benefits for both parents and kids (see article). I’ll share data on the second study soon.

My next parent-child mindfulness and self-compassion class starts on January 25th, and there are still a few spots remaining. You can click the button below to register or learn more about the parent-child class.

Parent-Child Class

Gathering for Paid Subscribers

This week my paid subscribers have the opportunity to join me live (1pm CT on Tuesday) for our monthly gathering. Our session will be a mix of practice, workbook activity content, and Q & A. It’s only $5 a month (or less if you sign up for a year!) to become a paid subscriber. Please consider upgrading to paid so you can join me, support my work, and receive short weekly videos with examples from my life and tips for sharing self-compassion with kids.

Podcast with Kristin Neff !

I’m excited to release a podcast episode featuring an interview with Kristin Neff. Kristin has been a pioneer in the development of programming and research on self-compassion. I am immensely grateful for her work, and I’m delighted we are partnering to help caregivers discover how to share self-compassion with youth.

Thank you for caring about youth and bolstering the resource of self-compassion in yourself and kids. I’m grateful we are on this journey together.

With Kindness and Gratitude,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. Despite the cold weather in Wisconsin, I have been enjoying my walks to Lake Michigan. Here a couple of photos that I took in the morning this past week.

Lake Michigan in the morning.
Lake Michigan with the ice in the winter.

The Subtle Aggression of Self-Improvement

by | Jan 7, 2025 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Embracing Playfulness and Joy

Hello Friends!

Those of us who are on the journey of growing resilience can sometimes get stuck in what meditation teacher, Bob Sharples calls, “the subtle aggression of self-improvement.” We get so focused in improving ourselves that we forget to enjoy the journey. Every so often I find myself going down this rabbit hole, but luckily young kids are usually impervious to this poor substitution for enjoying life.

Young children are usually pretty clear that the purpose of life is to enjoy and discover; to love and be loved. For kids, learning and growing happens incidentally along the path.

Today I’m going to share a few pages from the introduction of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1, which is tied to our theme for this week.

Our Journey begins with Playful Characters, a List of Ingredients, and a Map

In the introduction to Volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, playful characters introduce the resilience habits.
The Introduction from Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Kids, Volume 1.

Then, we learn the “true purpose” of the book, which is to go on a quest to get ingredients for a cake for a surprise birthday party for Doodles’ the Dolphin😀. You see, Doodles the Dolphin will be turning ten, and Doodles has never, ever had a birthday party. Kids universally think that a surprise party for Doodles is a pretty important cause. Lailah, one of the children who helped me develop the book, came up with this quest idea. Lailah skillfully helped me understand what kids intuitively know: the purpose of the journey (and the workbook) is to have fun!

Here you can see the list of ingredients for Doodles’ magical birthday cake.

Ingredients for the magical cake.

To get these birthday cake ingredients we have to go on a quest through 16 lands (8 lands are in volume 1, and the other 8 lands are in volume 2). Here’s the map of the 16 lands.

A Quest Map

Kids who finish volume 1 are eager to start the second book (volume 2 will be released Jan. 2026) so they can finish gathering the ingredients for Doodles birthday cake!

Bring Joy on the Journey

As we continue to move forward in 2025, how can you put down the “subtle aggression of self-improvement,” and move along this journey of life with more curiosity and joy? Of course we’d like to grow and change in positive ways, but how can you make the journey just a little more fun? Hint: If you study young kids, they’ll show you how!

Self-Compassion Tools for When Kids get Sick

My younger daughter got sick around the time I sent my last newsletter, and a week later she is still sick! Being sick is hard on kids AND hard on their grown-ups. In my short video for paid subscribers this week, I share one of my favorite self-compassion practices for grown-ups when the kids get sick.

We Are in It Together by Jamie Lynn Tatera is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Paid subscribers will receive the my video with a guided practice as well as an invitation to my monthly gathering later this week.

Free Introduction to Teaching Self-Compassion to Children

I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming introductory workshop on Teaching Self-Compassion to Children that I will be offering in partnership with Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Community. It’s a teaser for a three-hour workshop that I will be offering mid-February. Here’s the link for registering for the free workshop (if you register for the free workshop, you can get a link for the recording as well as a couple of exciting discounts).

Free Workshop Registration

I hope you’ll join me!

Wishing you Light and Love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. The Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1 is now available as an ebook. I was delighted when I checked my Amazon page last week and saw that the Ebook was a “Top New Release” in Children’s Activity Books :))

Now you can enjoy volume 1 as an ebook or a paperback! Let’s do the workbook together as we move through the different lands this year.

Buy the book

Thank you for helping kids grow self-compassion and supporting my work! I am grateful for your companionship on the journey.