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The Subtle Aggression of Self-Improvement

by | Jan 7, 2025 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Embracing Playfulness and Joy

Hello Friends!

Those of us who are on the journey of growing resilience can sometimes get stuck in what meditation teacher, Bob Sharples calls, “the subtle aggression of self-improvement.” We get so focused in improving ourselves that we forget to enjoy the journey. Every so often I find myself going down this rabbit hole, but luckily young kids are usually impervious to this poor substitution for enjoying life.

Young children are usually pretty clear that the purpose of life is to enjoy and discover; to love and be loved. For kids, learning and growing happens incidentally along the path.

Today I’m going to share a few pages from the introduction of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1, which is tied to our theme for this week.

Our Journey begins with Playful Characters, a List of Ingredients, and a Map

In the introduction to Volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, playful characters introduce the resilience habits.
The Introduction from Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Kids, Volume 1.

Then, we learn the “true purpose” of the book, which is to go on a quest to get ingredients for a cake for a surprise birthday party for Doodles’ the Dolphin😀. You see, Doodles the Dolphin will be turning ten, and Doodles has never, ever had a birthday party. Kids universally think that a surprise party for Doodles is a pretty important cause. Lailah, one of the children who helped me develop the book, came up with this quest idea. Lailah skillfully helped me understand what kids intuitively know: the purpose of the journey (and the workbook) is to have fun!

Here you can see the list of ingredients for Doodles’ magical birthday cake.

Ingredients for the magical cake.

To get these birthday cake ingredients we have to go on a quest through 16 lands (8 lands are in volume 1, and the other 8 lands are in volume 2). Here’s the map of the 16 lands.

A Quest Map

Kids who finish volume 1 are eager to start the second book (volume 2 will be released Jan. 2026) so they can finish gathering the ingredients for Doodles birthday cake!

Bring Joy on the Journey

As we continue to move forward in 2025, how can you put down the “subtle aggression of self-improvement,” and move along this journey of life with more curiosity and joy? Of course we’d like to grow and change in positive ways, but how can you make the journey just a little more fun? Hint: If you study young kids, they’ll show you how!

Self-Compassion Tools for When Kids get Sick

My younger daughter got sick around the time I sent my last newsletter, and a week later she is still sick! Being sick is hard on kids AND hard on their grown-ups. In my short video for paid subscribers this week, I share one of my favorite self-compassion practices for grown-ups when the kids get sick.

We Are in It Together by Jamie Lynn Tatera is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Paid subscribers will receive the my video with a guided practice as well as an invitation to my monthly gathering later this week.

Free Introduction to Teaching Self-Compassion to Children

I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming introductory workshop on Teaching Self-Compassion to Children that I will be offering in partnership with Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Community. It’s a teaser for a three-hour workshop that I will be offering mid-February. Here’s the link for registering for the free workshop (if you register for the free workshop, you can get a link for the recording as well as a couple of exciting discounts).

Free Workshop Registration

I hope you’ll join me!

Wishing you Light and Love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. The Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1 is now available as an ebook. I was delighted when I checked my Amazon page last week and saw that the Ebook was a “Top New Release” in Children’s Activity Books :))

Now you can enjoy volume 1 as an ebook or a paperback! Let’s do the workbook together as we move through the different lands this year.

Buy the book

Thank you for helping kids grow self-compassion and supporting my work! I am grateful for your companionship on the journey.

The Path to Resilience

by | Jan 1, 2025 | Jamie Lynn's Journey, Mindfulness, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

A Gift and A Community

 

Hello Friends,

Happy New Year! A common New Year’s tradition is to set an intention or resolution for the year. This could be an action that would entail fierce self-compassion (i.e. I am going to take care of my body this year by…), or it could be more centered around tender compassion (e.g. “May I begin to accept myself as I am”).

Regardless of whether our aspirations include creating change or cultivating tender acceptance (or both!), we will need resilience habits on the path.

I’ll share part of my New Year’s Resolution later in this newsletter, but first, a gift for you….

A Free Gift for You

Long before I created the Parent-Child Self-Compassion Class and the Resilience Habits for Parents Course (both of which I am offering this January!), I created the Path to Resilience program. The program is timeless and special, and today I have a gift for you: a free PDF of the beautiful and inspiring Path to Resilience Photo Book!

Access your free PDF here

If you read / download the book using the free download here. And if you love it, please review the book on Goodreads or Amazon.

What is the Magic of the Path to Resilience?

When I created my parent-child programs (parent-child self-compassion, Resilience Habits for Parents, and the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbooks for Kids), I used the engaging metaphors and framework from the Path to Resilience and fused it with foundational ideas from the Mindful Self-Compassion program (created by Drs. Kristin Neff and Chris Germer). The Path plus MSC was a match made in heaven!

What made the Path to Resilience so magical? I’m going to explain the magical ingredient from the Path to Resilience in a short video for paid subscribers.

What’s up with this “Paid Subscribers” option?

This is my first newsletter that includes an option for paid subscribers, and I’d like to share with you why I am creating this option, as well as why some of you might want to join me on this journey.

But first, let me clarify that my newsletter will continue to be free. It’s the personal videos, tips, discussion threads, and monthly live-online sessions that are for my paid subscribers.

One of the things that I have been wrestling with this past year is a desire to feel more connected with my readers, and I believe the paid subscriber option will help us create this connection. Here’s how:

  • Personal. A paid subscriber option will allow me to share things from my personal journey in a space that is more private. I don’t want the whole world to know personal details of my life, and having a subgroup of paid subscribers will create a smaller community for me to share tidbits of my personal journey.
  • Community. I have been wishing for more interaction with you, my precious readers. Our community of paid subscribers will have a private place to comment on ideas and respond to one another’s discussion posts. And our monthly live-online sessions will enable us to connect more deeply.
  • Examples and Tips for You. I have more to share than there is space to share in this newsletter. This includes more personal examples as well as tips for teaching self-compassion to kids. Our paid subscriber videos will enable me to share just a little more with you.
  • Supporting my Work. I need income to support my family and my work. And also to buy dark chocolate :)). A paid subscriber option helps to support me, my family, and my work, which helps me continue to be able to share self-compassion with children.

Feel free to email me with any questions about the paid subscriber community option.

Subscribed

My New Year’s Resolution for 2025

I’ll share more about the struggle that is fueling my 2025 resolution in a future newsletter. But part of my intention for 2025 is to focus on depth over breadth, and quality over quantity. This is part of what inspired me to create our paid community, and it’s also the impetus for the collective journey that I’ll be guiding you on for 2025.

Our Collective Journey for 2025

This year, I plan to walk us through concepts, ideas, activities, and teaching tips from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids. We’ll start with the introduction, and we’ll walk through each of the eight lands from the first book. I am excited to go on this journey with you!

Wishing you light and love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. My girls and I went on a mini-vacation to visit family and also to spend some quality time together. It was delightful!

Jamie-Lynn and her daughters ice skating.

The Rabbit Listened – The Power of Presence

by | Dec 23, 2024 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Kindness and Self-Kindness

Hello friends,

The winter solstice has passed (hooray!) and for many the holidays are approaching. Happy holidays to those who celebrate! I have some insights to share with you that can help you tap into your greatest gift this season: presence.

These ideas are inspired by my interview with Cori Doerrfeld, author of one my favorite children’s books, The Rabbit Listened.

Jamie-Lynn and a book

In the story, The Rabbit Listened, a child named Taylor is upset, and a collection of animals appear to “help.” Their well-intended advice for Taylor to vent, fix, talk, laugh, or forget about the problem are all poorly received by Taylor. Taylor finds no comfort until the rabbit comes with a warm presence and simply listens.

The Rabbit Listened reminds us of the power of your presence when people around you, including children, are struggling in big and small ways. You can scroll down to the bottom of the page for a link to my full interview with Cori.

I love to use the book, The Rabbit Listened, when I teach children about self-compassion because the ideas from the book can also apply to how we treat ourselves when we are struggling. Six kids from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids “Kids’ Team” created a play that reenacts the story from The Rabbit Listened, and at the end of the video the kids and I show how we can apply the ideas both to compassion for self and compassion for others.

Applying these lessons to our holiday experiences

As we approach the holidays, many of may experience joy, and we may also experience grief. Last weekend and again later this week, my family and I are going up north to visit my stepdad who is in hospice. My mom has a broken heart as she watches her husband decline, and I so desperately want to decrease my mom and stepdad’s suffering. I want to help, and listening to my conversation with Cori reminds me that what my mom and stepdad most need in this moment is my presence. Click here to listen to a one-minute clip from my interview with Cori.

My heartwarming podcast with author Cori Doerrfeld

You can listen to our full podcast episode on Substack, Youtube, or your favorite podcast app.

I love that a rabbit is the comforting animal in Cori’s delightful book, as well as the kind and encouraging animal (pictured above) from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids and my Parent-Child Self-Compassion and Resilience Habits for Parents classes. As Cori shares in our podcast episode, sometimes just picturing the rabbit can help us call on our kind, gentle presence when things go wrong.

Wishing you both joy and compassion as we move past the solstice and into the holidays. May you enjoy the gift of presence.

With Light and Love,

Jamie Lynn

What is Your Resilience Animal?

by | Dec 17, 2024 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

A NEW quiz for you and your kids

 

Hello friends!

You may have read my previous blogs on the feelings habit animals. Learning about feelings habits and taking the fun feelings habit animal quiz is an excellent first step for helping kids (and grown-ups) be mindful of their feelings’ tendencies and recognize that others also sometimes think and feel like them.

Being mindful of our tendency to explode with feelings, hide feelings, suppress feelings, or feel ashamed of feelings is in and of itself a resilience habit. In my Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbooks for Kids and my parent-child self-compassion class, I use five resilience animals to help kids and grown-ups grow mindfulness and self-compassion. These are the same five animals that I teach parents to use in my Resilience Habits for Parents class. (Note: there are still open spots in my January Parent-Child Self-Compassion and my Resilience Habits for Parents classes.)

In volume 2 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, kids are encouraged to continue to practice and deepen the 5 resilience habits they learned in volume 1, and they are offered the Resilience Animal Quiz as a way to reflect and consider which of the 5 resilience habits they would like to practice.

The resilience animal quiz has the same six questions as the feelings habit animal quiz. Only this time, the responses are choices that exemplify the 5 resilience habits. When things go wrong, would you like to…

  • Observe like Spots the giraffe?
  • Remind yourself you’re not alone like Buddy the dog?
  • Is kindness your super power like Snuggles the bunny?
  • Do you look for the good like Sunny?
  • Or would you take action like Doodles the dolphin?

Discover which of the five Resilience Animals from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids is your best match by taking the Resilience Animal Quiz! (It’s fun for adults, too!)

TAKE RESILIENCE ANIMAL QUIZ

Kids who are familiar with the resilience animals from my parent-child class or volume 1 of my workbook enjoy the Resilience Quiz, and they report that it really makes them think about how to apply the resilience animal skills in real life (of course the ultimate goal!).

In January, in addition to teaching a Resilience Habits for Parents course, I’ll also be starting a community for caregivers of children. You can join my community to learn how to implement the ideas and practices from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbooks for Kids in your own life and also how to best support kids in growing these same skills. If you’d like to be on the waiting / interest list for my community (dubbed “Jamie Lynn’s Community”) reply to this email to let me know.

Milwaukee locals can also join me in January for an in-person author visit, parent-child workshops (through the Whitefish Bay Rec Department), and an 8-week Self-Compassion for Shame course. And everyone is invited to join me for my live-online classes and workshops, including an Intro to Teaching Self-Compassion to Children Workshop offered in partnership with Kristin Neff’s community (free for everyone!).

JOIN UPCOMING EVENTS WITH JAMIE LYNN

I hope you enjoyed the Resilience Animal Quiz (feel free to comment with your resilience animal)! My predominant resilience animal is Snuggles the bunny (kindness). But I’m also a big fan of Buddy (remembering I’m not alone) and Sunny (noticing goodness).

I am grateful to be on team self-compassion with you.

With light, love, and hope,

Jamie Lynn

Post-Traumatic Growth

by | Nov 23, 2024 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Join Chris Willard and me as we step into the world of mindfulness and connection

 

Hello Friends,

Yesterday I finished teaching my Parent-Child Mindfulness and Self-Compassion class for a research study, and a number of kids were crying at the end of class because they were going to miss our fun class and our group. Oh my goodness, does this touch my heart! So beautiful.🥹

The Parent-Child class has grown and changed over the years to include all of the playful animals and comics from the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, and kids and parents love the class now more than ever (you can order the workbook or sign up for a free Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers info session below):

Order the Workbook

Free Intro Session with Jamie Lynn

How We Grow Through What We Go Through

Today, I’m excited to share with you something positive that can emerge from challenging life circumstances: post-traumatic growth. When adversity strikes, do you ever fear that you are going to experience a mental health setback? What if the opposite were true?

That’s what my candid conversation with Dr. Chris Willard for this month’s We Are in It Together podcast is about. We talk about the resources that we can bring to adverse experiences (including mindfulness, self-compassion and EACH OTHER) that can help us transform something difficult into something life-promoting. He even suggests that post-traumatic stress can co-exist with post-traumatic growth (could this really be true!?).

I am incredibly honored to have so many wonderful guests, including Chris Willard, for my podcast. HONORED!! Chris is a prolific author, instructor at the Harvard Medical School, intergenerational mindfulness teacher, and an all-around great guy! Here’s a little clip of Chris talking about how one parent found mindful moments in a car:

Highlights from our conversation include:

  • Chris’s story of moving from opioid addiction to flourishing through mindfulness and connection
  • Tips for making mindfulness trauma sensitive (for example, stationary mindfulness can be unsettling for some, but mindfulness in motion can be more accessible)
  • Having a caregiver practice mindfulness may actually be more beneficial for a child more than teaching the child mindfulness (your practice matters!)
  • The importance of community for healing (that’s why We Are in It Together!)

Please check out our podcast on your favorite podcast listening app (or my YouTube or Substack), and share it with others!

Thank you for being a supporter of mindfulness and self-compassion for children and caregivers. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to share this goodness with others :).

With gratitude for our community,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. This past week I got to spend some time in-person with Karen Bluth who is the program creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion for Teens program. She is such an amazing human with an amazing heart for sharing self-compassion with teens. I feel blessed to know such compassionate and visionary people. ❤️

Jamie-Lynn and Karen Bluth