We live in a culture that encourages us to try to feel good all the time. We hear the overt and covert messages: Be happy! Overcome struggles! Look on the bright side. What is the problem with such messages? First, it’s not possible to feel...
Self-Compassion
Four Steps to Help Kids Grow Self-Compassion
How many of us know someone - an adult, teen or child - who could benefit from the resource of self-compassion? We might think, Wow! That person really needs to be kinder to themselves and stop beating themselves up! But what is the best way to help another person to...
She’s Going to be Okay
A few weeks ago, my ten year-old came home from her first field hockey practice with some news that touched my heart. She said that the first half of practice she had been practicing self-criticism and comparing herself to others, but then the second half of practice,...
Creating Space for Grief
When I learned that school had been canceled due to the coronavirus, I was more than a little shocked. My default coping mode was to get busy and stay positive. I also knew that I had to move my body and spend time in nature each day. Simultaneously, I became less...
While I Lie Awake at Night
The other night I lay in bed, unable to fall asleep. I was feeling sadness about something that had happened earlier in the day, and I offered myself a little compassion for the difficulty. I then went through my usual repertoire of things I do when I lay in bed: I...
How Self-Compassion Saved My Daughter…and Me
My older daughter Maya was born sensitive, curious, and creative. As Maya grew, I learned that all of her five senses were extra sensitive. For her sounds were louder, smells and tastes more acute, she had a strong draw to everything tactile, and she saw “light...