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The Subtle Aggression of Self-Improvement

by | Jan 7, 2025 | Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion | 0 comments

Embracing Playfulness and Joy

Hello Friends!

Those of us who are on the journey of growing resilience can sometimes get stuck in what meditation teacher, Bob Sharples calls, “the subtle aggression of self-improvement.” We get so focused in improving ourselves that we forget to enjoy the journey. Every so often I find myself going down this rabbit hole, but luckily young kids are usually impervious to this poor substitution for enjoying life.

Young children are usually pretty clear that the purpose of life is to enjoy and discover; to love and be loved. For kids, learning and growing happens incidentally along the path.

Today I’m going to share a few pages from the introduction of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1, which is tied to our theme for this week.

Our Journey begins with Playful Characters, a List of Ingredients, and a Map

In the introduction to Volume 1 of the Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, playful characters introduce the resilience habits.
The Introduction from Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Kids, Volume 1.

Then, we learn the “true purpose” of the book, which is to go on a quest to get ingredients for a cake for a surprise birthday party for Doodles’ the Dolphin😀. You see, Doodles the Dolphin will be turning ten, and Doodles has never, ever had a birthday party. Kids universally think that a surprise party for Doodles is a pretty important cause. Lailah, one of the children who helped me develop the book, came up with this quest idea. Lailah skillfully helped me understand what kids intuitively know: the purpose of the journey (and the workbook) is to have fun!

Here you can see the list of ingredients for Doodles’ magical birthday cake.

Ingredients for the magical cake.

To get these birthday cake ingredients we have to go on a quest through 16 lands (8 lands are in volume 1, and the other 8 lands are in volume 2). Here’s the map of the 16 lands.

A Quest Map

Kids who finish volume 1 are eager to start the second book (volume 2 will be released Jan. 2026) so they can finish gathering the ingredients for Doodles birthday cake!

Bring Joy on the Journey

As we continue to move forward in 2025, how can you put down the “subtle aggression of self-improvement,” and move along this journey of life with more curiosity and joy? Of course we’d like to grow and change in positive ways, but how can you make the journey just a little more fun? Hint: If you study young kids, they’ll show you how!

Self-Compassion Tools for When Kids get Sick

My younger daughter got sick around the time I sent my last newsletter, and a week later she is still sick! Being sick is hard on kids AND hard on their grown-ups. In my short video for paid subscribers this week, I share one of my favorite self-compassion practices for grown-ups when the kids get sick.

We Are in It Together by Jamie Lynn Tatera is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Paid subscribers will receive the my video with a guided practice as well as an invitation to my monthly gathering later this week.

Free Introduction to Teaching Self-Compassion to Children

I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming introductory workshop on Teaching Self-Compassion to Children that I will be offering in partnership with Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Community. It’s a teaser for a three-hour workshop that I will be offering mid-February. Here’s the link for registering for the free workshop (if you register for the free workshop, you can get a link for the recording as well as a couple of exciting discounts).

Free Workshop Registration

I hope you’ll join me!

Wishing you Light and Love,

Jamie Lynn

P.S. The Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Workbook for Kids, Volume 1 is now available as an ebook. I was delighted when I checked my Amazon page last week and saw that the Ebook was a “Top New Release” in Children’s Activity Books :))

Now you can enjoy volume 1 as an ebook or a paperback! Let’s do the workbook together as we move through the different lands this year.

Buy the book

Thank you for helping kids grow self-compassion and supporting my work! I am grateful for your companionship on the journey.

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