Hello friends,
I am back from my silent retreat. I often think of silent retreats as being like backpacking trips. Backpacking trips and silent retreats both include moments sublime, moments of intense discomfort, and I always feel better when I come home.
On retreat I thought of so many things that I want to share with you. Hopefully I will be able to share some of those thoughts in the weeks to come. But today I’d like to focus on an important topic: our relationship with technology.
Before I left for retreat, I spoke on a panel about kids and smartphones. If you’d like to see the panel I was part of, here’s a link for our talk on how to help kids be “smart” with smartphones.
Most of us have both healthy and less healthy habits on our smartphones. I wrote a draft for this newsletter on my smartphone, and some of you might be reading this article on a smartphone. I have a lot to say on this topic, and I plan do a podcast on technology and share more tips for parents in the months to come, but for today I’ll share about my personal struggles with cellphones and some tips that have helped me develop a better relationship with the apps on my phone.
One of my less healthy phone habits is checking my work email. Before my silent retreat, I had a habit of checking my work email many times a day on my phone, including before making breakfast, in between most activities, and late in the evening after I am hypothetically done working (is there such a thing when you are self-employed and work from home?). As you can imagine, my email checking creates a lack of boundaries between my work life and my home life.
It was a challenge during my silent retreat not to check my work email. I realize that I get a sense of “control” and “agency” as well as a confidence boost that my mission for spreading self-compassion is gaining force when I check my work email. I think it also makes me feel productive and important. Are these good things? Sometimes. But they also pull me away from the present moment. And an email (or a social media “like,” etc.) is a poor substitute for looking inward and finding a sense of being okay and worthy on the inside or looking around us and finding connection in the here and now. Deep thoughts, I know. Retreats will do that to you ;).
So, what am I doing to help with my phone habits now that I am back from retreat? I’ve installed a wonderful app called ScreenZen on my phone. I have programmed it so that certain apps, including my gmail and my Instagram, have not only a limit on how many times I can open them, but also a message that pops up that helps me pause before I do so. Now, before I read my work email on my phone, I pause and say a mantra or prayer. And before I open my Instagram, I take a few deep breaths or do some “square breathing.” Does this make a difference? Absolutely! Because these new habits are helping me be present and experience my okayness and connection from the inside.
I promise to share more about how to help kids with their screentime in a future newsletter, but I think it’s a really good idea for us to start with our own technology use. Maybe you want to try the ScreenZen app, too (or share a different helpful app or strategy that you use in the comments)!
Wishing you wellbeing from the inside out,
Jamie Lynn
P.S. If you’re interested in taking a class to help with present moment awareness and self-kindness, you can visit my events page for a list of upcoming opportunities.
P.P.S. Here’s a picture of a delightful Swami (Swami Radha) who guided many practices during my silent retreat. She reminded me that in addition to my loving kindness phrases, using a mantra can be a great way to meditate.
